The Helping Hand

I'm toiletly retarded whenever I'm in a new place. Well, one time, I ran to the bathroom. The bubble guts had me against the ropes, it was terrible. I finally made it to the bathroom and dropped my pants in a quick, flash hurry. Placing my ass on the toilet, I got myself acquainted to my surroundings and the seat began to warm under me. The final plops occurred and I'm scurrying left and right looking for any evidence of tissue, a leaf, facecloth, a baby, anything to wipe my ass. There was nothing, NOTHING and I screamed in frustration and like God from above, a hand came under the stall door with good ole tissue. I felt ashamed taking it, but wiped my ass was and after I just sat there waiting for my helping hand to leave the restroom. He gave his hands a full handwashing. Longest five minutes of my life. Why did I share that?