Fort Wayne, Indiana?

Okay, so I was in Fort Wayne, Indiana over the weekend. It was a disappointing trip. Disregarding the soccer, everything was just sub par. The hotel rooms were soooo small. No double bedroom rooms could have extra beds because that would have been a fire hazard. [They did have this bad ass chick who worked there.] The televisions were extra small, I had to sit at the edge of the bed just to watch the Bulls-Celtics game. It took them five years to bring us extra towels. The toilets looked like school bathroom toilets. I met some chick on the elevator who had more testosterone than Mr. T. They ran out of orange juice at breakfast. The old ass waitress said she had a facebook. They had exactly one computer in the lobby. The wireless connection was SOOO slow, I couldn't even stream games. AND THE CLOCK AND THE LIGHT ON THE NIGHTSTAND WEREN'T EVEN PLUGGED IN. Needless to say, it was all bad.

Anyways, so we go to the mall. And the mall is usually good news, right? Not always. We go to Glenbrook Square Mall and it was interesting. It's the equivalent of putting the stores of Oakland Mall inside Northland Mall and throwing in white kids from Twelve Oaks mall. Pure awkwardness.

So we walk around, I see some shit in Macy's, buy some shit from H&M and PacSun and get an Elephant Ear. I'm sitting there and apparently I'm out of the loop, but these dudes are matching with gym shorts. BASKETBALL SHORTS, fresh from hooping.

this guy, I tried not to laugh

I was mad because I took my time to bring jeans and shirts that were actually clean and these dudes are just walking around in the playground's finest. And then the Jesus sandals that no one wears unless they are gonna be involved with athletics before or after the wearing of said sandals. And then the extra young hoody. The dudes in front of him were in an AAU tournament, but him he actually lived there. He chose to wear that..
Further issues:

Remember those old FUBU jerseys that everybody use to wear. Get it? Exactly.

Orange Crocs .. [insert sad face here]

[insert caption here]

she had ashy kneecaps, very ashy

Apparently, some form of the infamous Jheri Curl comes in the wig variety.

Don't feel bad Metro people

antiquated and random arcade games




To conclude it all we went to Olive Garden and the waitress we had said she came from a small town called Hicksville, Indiana .. we asked if they sold pointy hats ..